Feminist, Fictionista, Foodie, Francophile

Monday, June 9, 2014

Shakespeare Noir Mi Corazon



By Katherine Tomlinson



You’re with Raimundo on K-ESE Los Angeles and it’s time for the news.


A clash between Montagues and Capulets left five dead as gang violence spilled over in Verona this afternoon. Responding to pressure from residents of the small suburb of East Los Angeles, the Verona police chief announced a new zero tolerance policy that would implement the death penalty for any gang member caught breaking the law.


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The first time Romeo Montague saw Julieta Capulet he forgot all about Rosa, the Capulet cousin he’d been boning in order to get intel on the Capulet gang. Rosa had invited Romeo to her cousin’s quinceanera on a dare and to her surprise, Romeo and his compadre Mer-Q had shown up.

Romeo was chowing down on home-made tamales when Julieta appeared on the dance floor wearing a turquoise dress he wanted to rip off like wrapping paper. Some little nerd of a Capulet cousin was dancing with Julieta when Romeo stepped up to claim her, right there in front of her father and everyone else. “I don’t know you,” Julieta had said as he danced her backwards around the room.

“You have always known me,” Romeo said in Spanish so that it wouldn’t sound cheesy. “My name is Romeo Montague.”

She’d gasped at his boldness and pressed herself closer to him, thrilled by the danger. Then Julieta’s cousin  Pablo, the one they called Count P, had security throw him out. As he was hauled away by the rent-a-cops, Romeo saw Rosa staring balefully at him. Chica wasn’t happy at all.

Neither was Julieta’s mother, who intended for Julieta to marry Pablo, who was destined to take over the family business. “You’ll marry the Count,” she told her daughter harshly. Julieta, who privately thought of Pablo as “the cunt,” didn’t answer.

That night Romeo sneaked into the Capulet compound and climbed up to Julieta’s window. Warmed by lust and sips of stolen tequila, the two pledged their love and made plans to sneak away the next morning to be married.
Only problem was, the church was in Capulet territory and a banger called T-ball peeped Romeo coming out of the side door. He followed him back to a Montague chop shop and called him out. When Mer-Q realized Romeo was just going to stand there like a fucking maricon and let the guy talk trash, he stepped in front of his hermano to deal with T-ball himself.

You’re with Raimundo at K-ESE in Los Angeles and it’s time for the news.

Despite a crackdown on gang activity in Verona, an encounter between rival sets turned deadly this afternoon. Witnesses say a Capulet known as T-ball fatally stabbed Montague gang member Mercer Quinero, known as Mer-Q, before being shot by Quinero’s companion, Romeo Montague. Verona’s Chief of Police responded quickly, issuing a warrant for Montague’s arrest. Montague is believed to have fled to Mexico where he has family.

Furious over the death of T-ball, Julieta’s mother laid down the law. Marry the Count, she told her, or face life alone on the streets. Julieta took option C, sending Rosa to a street dealer to procure a drug she’d looked up on the Internet. When her mother came to dress her for her second wedding, she found her daughter dead.

Romeo heard the news from Rosa, who, trying to make amends, texted him with directions to the mortuary. Slipping back across the border into California, Romeo broke into the place, knocked out a guard and found Julieta lying on a slab waiting to be embalmed.

Filled with despair, Romeo kissed her lips and injected himself with a hot shot he’d purchased on the way home. 

Julieta awoke to find Romeo’s corpse on the floor. It was just as she and her father had planned. Romeo was handsome, but he wasn’t very bright. He thought he was playing Rosa when all the time, she was just setting him up for her cousin.

Julieta was her father’s daughter and her father’s motto was “Death to all Montagues.”


This story originally appeared in Christopher Grant's A Twist of Noir.


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