The Kattomic Energy Christmas Card Buying Guide

Cardinal in snow, photo by Rob Tomlinson

In my parents' generation, sending out Christmas cards was a big deal and a husband/wife project. My parents never put together one of those awful Christmas letters (and in fact mocked their relatives and friends who did send them out) but the sending of the cards was a project that consumed at least one night in the pre-holiday run-up.

They'd divide up the writing chores although my father's handwriting was barely legible--I was the only one in the family who could read it--and my mother had art school handwriting that was as precise and readable as machine print. They had different signatures depending on who the card's recipient was, "Mickey and Tom" for their friends, "Mildred and Parrish" for his relatives, and so forth.

They always bought special Christmas stamps to use on their cards and they had two different kinds of cards--some kind of religious theme for the relatives, more general holiday cards for their Jewish friends and colleagues. They probably sent out a hundred cards a year and got at least as many in return. The cards were displayed over the mantle and on top of the bookcases and gave the house a really festive air.

Fiction Friday: G. Wells Taylor's "Memory Lane:"

I'm a huge fan of Canadian horror writer G. Wells Taylor (whose vampire novel Bent Steeple is one of the best of the genre). He writes creepy, character-based stories that run the gamut from post-apocalyptic urban fantasy/noir (his Wildclown series) to his variant on the zombie apocalypse (The Variant Effect) to this tale of psychological horror featuring a couple of memorable human monsters. You can read my review on Amazon here, and while you're there, pick up a copy of the novella for $1.99.

How to shop for the holidays without losing your mind

The official Kattomic Energy gift guide will be published in the next few weeks but since today, Black Friday, is the unofficial start of the holiday shopping season, here is a preview. 

GETTING MUGGED

The truth is, if you're over 21, you probably have all the mugs you need. You've got the one emblazoned with your college logo and the one you got from your bank when you opened a savings account. You have the mug you received as a premium when you donated money to your local NPR station. And if you work in a large company, you have  a mug with your company's brand and corporate slogan plastered all over it.

In the unlikely event you know someone who could use a few more mugs, there are a lot of cool mugs out there.

For people who love words, there are scrabble letter mugs. These are nice and simple, graphically pleasing mugs that cost $13 each. You can find them in a lot of catalogues or here. For a dollar less, you can get the officially sanctioned by Scrabble "Scrabble Tile Mug." Find it here.

For the activist/reader, there's the Banned Books Mugs ($12.95). Inscribed with the names of banned books (from To Kill a Mockingbird to Ulysses, they're perfect for serving coffee after a book club meeting. Buy them here at the Unemployed Philosopher's Guild where the motto is, "The unexamined gift is not worth giving."

Unemployed Philosopher's Guild also carries a 12-ounce mug featuring the opening lines of some of the great works of English/American literature. Buy it here.

Zazzle shops feature a variety of Shakespeare-themed mugs from simple black quotes on white mug to more decorate designs. My brother, a criminal lawyer, has a whole set of "First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers" mugs in his office. You can buy one of your own for $16 each here. To look at Zazzle's full range of Shakespeare quote mugs, start here.

Cafe Press has a large selection of mugs featuring images of writers and famous quotes. check them out here. They also have silly mugs like the one that says, "Are you crying? There's no crying. There's no crying in English class."  Which I think is funny but I'm not sure I'd want a mug with that on it.

And that's the thing about mugs with funny sayings or quotes with profanity (even of teh S*it Happens variety). What seems funny as you click on the "go to shopping cart"  or hand over actual money to an actual perso in a card store, may not be hilarious on Christmas morning. 

So beware of impulse buys based on whimsy. Don't be the one to give your dad the Duct Tape mug ($14.95), which comes twith a duct tape tie. (Yes, although the mug just looks like it's made of duct tape, the tie reallly is made of actual duct tape.) 

It's Thanksgiving: Bring on the Corn Pudding

Photo by Patrick Hajzler

Southern cooking is full of puddings. Bread Pudding. Rice pudding. Sweet potato pudding. Corn pudding. Put a "pudding" on there and it's all good.  The only time I remember having this yummy side dish is at Thanksgiving and Christmas. The rest of the time we either ate frozen corn niblets or freshly picked Silver Queen corn from my great-uncle's kitchen garden. (The joke was that you didn't pick the corn until the water in the pot was boiling.)
I pretty much never met a corn dish I didn't love and I still have a fondness for corn somthered in melted cheddar cheese with red pepper flakes, a staple of my college diet.
If you'd like to add a little pizazz to your vegetable sides this holiday, why not try corn in its most quintessential southern form?

CORN PUDDING

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

2 cups cooked corn kernels

3 Tbsp. melted butter

1/2 cup flour

4 tsp. granulated sugar

4 eggs

4 cups non-fat milk

1/4 tsp. nutmeg

1/2 tsp. ground black pepper

dash salt

Prep a baking dish with non-stick spray.

Combine flour, salt, seasonings and sugar.

Add corn and melted gutter.

Add the eggs to the milk and stir.

Add the egg/milk mixture to the dry mixture and pour into the baking pan.

Bake for 40 minutes or until pudding is firm.

It's Thanksgiving--let the celebration of carbs begin

Photo by Vangelis Thomaidin

At the Mullins-Tomlinson household Thanksgiving was all about the sides. Sure, the moistness of the turkey was important and the crispness of the stuffing (there was always two kinds--oyster stuffing because my father loved it and cornbread stuffing made with actual cornbread and none of this Mrs. Cubbinson's mix nonsense) but really, it was all about the starches and the side dishes.
Unlike 99 percent of southern households, we did not have green bean casserole at the holiday. My mother made green beans with bacon and dried red pepper the way God intended us to eat green beans. (I actually prefer crisp steamed green beans these days but when I'm at HomeTown Buffet, I almost always get some of their Southern-style string beans because they do them right.)
One of the dishes that was always on our Thanksgiving table was grated sweet potato pudding. (One of my aunts always brought the candied  yams with the orange juice and the crushed cornflakes and the marshmallows but she always took home most of the dish. The sweet potato pudding dish, though, would be scraped clean.)
Here's the recipe:

GRATED SWEET POTATO PUDDING

4 raw sweet potatoes, peeled and grated (do not use yams)

1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar (you can use molasses)

1/2 cup melted butter

2 eggs

1/4 cup milk

1/4 cup orange juice

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. ginger

1/4 tsp. nutmeg

1 Tbsp. dried orange peel (or rind of a fresh orange)

dash salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Beat eggs.

Combine all ingredients.

Pour into a baking dish prepped with non-stick spray.

Bake until firm (about 50 minutes).

Enjoy.

Gratuitous Cat Cuteness

Because it's Sunday and I'm working and easily distracted by Orange Cat who is guarding the manuscript I'm reading. And besides, isn't the Internet all about cat pictures?

Holiday Themed Grammar Silliness

Savage Chickens by Dug Savage