I'm 5'1" and you're not. Nyah. Nyah. Nyah.

I've been a working writer since I was 16. I've studied and practiced and written thousands of words. And yet, I've still never finished a novel. Perhaps I should have taken a different route to mastering my craft. Who knew that all I had to do was star in a reality show and get arrested for disorderly conduct?

I present to you a first look at A Shore Thing, the first novel from Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi. Complete with quotes taken from various chapters.

Console yourself with the knowledge that although she published a novel before you did, you're probably taller than she is. That's what I'm doing.

Yeah, that's right bitch, I've got four inches on you!! (Sorry, my inner Jersey Girl slipped out for a moment.)