Yes--the return of shameless self-promotion

Mark Satchwill, my partner in crime at NoHo Noir, has been sick for a few weeks so various artists have been filling in for him. Joanne Renaud stepped in for him today, and the illustration is fantastic.
The story's a long one for me, more than 2000 words, mostly because to get to the part I really wanted to tell, I had to explain some things.
And of course there's a place where I switched character names. The CMS we use on the patch.com site is pretty wonky and I don't have administrator privileges so I can't go in and fix things.
This story is a result of a character rebelling against fate. I'd planned to kill Mary off and right up to the last moment when she's discovered, I fully intended to do that. But then, I just couldn't. And now this whole mother/daughter thing is happening.
One last detail. The artwork you see behind the characters? It's real art that's on the walls at the offices of CAA (Creative Artists Agency). Someone put a photo of it up at Flickr, which is where Joanne saw it. Is it not the ugliest piece of corporate art you've ever seen?
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story.

New story at NoHo Noir

Today's story at NoHo Noir features a grieving Lem, who is spending Passover alone with his dead wife's cat. Although he and Clancy have reached an "understanding," they are still antagonists. The illustration is by Mark Satchwill. You can find the story here.

Falling in love with characters

Artist Mark Satchwill and I had to hit the ground running when we first started doing NoHo Noir. We were hired on a Monday and the first story and illustration--along with Mark's logo for the series--were due on Thursday and they went up on Sunday, one week to the day from the Craig's List ad we answered.
We started out with one story a week and now we're doing two. The core characters are still the same as they were in October, when we started, but we have been adding new characters on an almost weekly basis. This week we introduced an ex-husband (actor Garibaldi Fox) and a secret boyfriend (Dale Robitaille).
Some characters are a lot of fun to write. Self-involved, wannabe screenwriter Christopher (who calls himself Christo) is always a hoot. Ditto for the self-righteous Helen Parrish, who is secretly holding another character's daughter prisoner.
It's like creating a soap opera and playing with these characters is a lot of fun. I've plotted out where the various arcs are going to go but sometimes, the characters surprise me. And sometimes I realize...the fates I had planned for them are just too cruel. For example, I was going to have Christo kill himself after one too many disappointments. But after someone commented on the character, I realized it was much more fun to keep him around.
I am going to kill someone off soon though and I hope it will be a shock.
Thanks for your support of NoHo Noir. I hope you enjoy this week's stories.

Saturday's story: Beware the Ides of April

Sunday's story: Visiting Hours

P.S. The web series is coming soon and it will be animated. A collection of the short stories with connective stories is also in the works.

New story, new character for NoHo Noir

For the last several months I've been writing two stories a week for NoHo Noir, which gives me a lot more latitude to follow the ever-growing cast of characters. I haven't really done much with Rouzan, the character who has chosen to opt out of the luxurious lifestyle provided by her Armenian gangster father and find her own way. She's a character I really like and this weekend, I introduce a new storyline that will feature her. As always, the story is illustrated by Mark Satchwill.

Here's the link. I hope you enjoy it.

Sunday Self Promotion

Yes--it's another episode of NoHo Noir. This week features one of my favorite characters, Erika Garrett, the high-maintenance ex-wife of good guy James Garrett. If you're following the series, you may recall that she's completely paranoid about other women hitting on her new sweetie, an obnoxious dentist. She is also mother to Ty, a sweet kid who is about to have some problems. But that's getting ahead of the story.
As always, the story has been illustrated by Mark Satchwill. I LOVE the disapproving look on the saleswoman's face. Yes, you pretty much see the whole dynamic of the story in just the one picture... Enjoy it here.

"Maternal Instinct" on NoHo Noir

Yes, it's Sunday self-promotion day as another episode of NoHo Noir appears on patch.com.

This episode ties together characters from three separate storylines in an incendiary way. The artwork is by Mark Satchwill and features the mother of the missing girl from "Good Samaritan" and "Mother Love."

You can read "Maternal Instinct" here.

Two Noirs for the Price of One

This past week marked the debut of twice a week NoHo Noir stories. From now on Mark Satchwill and I will be bringing you a double-tap of noir for your reading pleasure.

This week's episodes are all about sin and secrets.

Read Fools Rush In here.

Read Curb Appeal here.

NoHo Noir #18

The plot thickens...Remember the street kid Helen Parrish kidnapped awhile ago? Her mother has come to town looking for her. And guess who isn't too happy about that?

Read the story here.

You can read all of the stories here.

As always, the artwork is by Mark Satchwill. Swag with his NoHo Noir artwork is now available in Mark's Zazzle store; and you can also buy prints of his illustrations on Etsy and RedBubble. Show him some love. (And seriously, don't you need some NoHo Noir coffee mugs?) Fans of Dark Valentine Magazine will recognize some of his pieces for sale as well.

New NoHo Noir for Valentine's Day

Celebrate Valentine's Day with the characters of NoHo Noir. This is a pivotal episode--expect revelations about Ethan (the homophobic cop), James and Amanda Gold (movie mogul and his trophy wife), backstory on Clarence Garrett, Lem Majewski and Shari the bubbly receptionist at Economou, Deeter & Bailey.

Here's the story.

As always, the artwork is by Mark Satchwill. You can see more of his work here.

NoHo Noir Swag--Available Now

Create personalized gifts at Zazzle.


Now you can have Mark Satchwill's amazing NoHo Noir art on t-shirts, coffee mugs, badges, and mouse pads. Not only is the creepy series logo available, but you can also get his most requested illustrations--Cosmos, Molecules, and Blockbuster--too.

Go here to browse. Seriously, what kitchen would be complete without a set of NoHo Noir coffee mugs?

Girl Talk on NoHo Noir

The plot thickens in NoHo Noir as Lyla Fox and her new beau, dentist Rob Cervantes, double-date with his business partner Tim McIlhenny and Tim's pregnant girlfriend Erika.

Erika left her husband, James Garrett for Tim and is now pregnant with his child. She's recently moved in with Tim, which annoys James. It's also created anxiety for her son Ty, a smart kid who loves astronomy and animals and his dad.

The illustration is by Mark Satchwill. Here's the opening of the story:

When Lyla Fox saw Rob’s business partner enter the restaurant with his pregnant girlfriend, her first thought was, What’s wrong with this picture? Tim McIlhenny—like the people who make Tabasco he said when they were introduced—was a beefy redhead with skin the color of uncooked tilapia. It wasn’t that he was ugly, exactly, he was just utterly, completely …
A word surfaced in her memory, schnorbelie. It was a word her college roommate Connie had used to describe people like Tim and even though it was a nonsense word, you knew exactly what it meant.
Tim McIlhenny was schnorbelie. Erika Garret, on the other hand, was gorgeous. If Tim had been a movie producer, Lyla wouldn’t have thought twice but a dentist? How’d that happen?

Ca’Del Sole
4100 Cahuenga Blvd.
Toluca Lake, CA 91602
9:20 p.m.

It was clear Tim couldn’t quite believe his luck either. He established his claim on Erika every chance he got. He couldn’t keep his meaty hands off her and nuzzled her all through dinner. He was solicitous to the point of annoyance. I wonder if he’s going to cut her meat for her, Lyla thought as the entrees were served.
Lyla had gotten the mezzalune, which is what she always ordered. Rob had selected the gnocchi with duck ragout. They toasted each other with their forks before they started eating. Erika dug into her meal with the ravenous relish Lyla remembered from her own pregnancies. Tim inhaled his fish and continued the monologue that had begun the moment he sat down. She found herself staring at him with horrified fascination as he talked with his mouth full.

When Rob had first suggested a double-date with Tim and his girlfriend, Lyla had gotten a little giddy. It wasn’t exactly “I want you to meet my family,” but after a month of dating, it was a good sign that their relationship was more than an elongated one-night stand. Now, after listening to him pontificate on everything from the revolution in Egypt to the nuances of the pricey bottle of wine he’d insisted on buying for the table, Lyla was starting to get a headache. When he started talking about a restaurant he wanted to invest in, Rob suggested Tim consult with Lyla on the financials. Tim had smirked. “I’ve got my own money guy,” he said. “No offense Lyla.”
She’d smirked back. “None taken.”
Why do they always want to invest in restaurants? Lyla wondered. Not a week went by that one of her customers didn’t tell her about some great place on Melrose they wanted to buy, dazzled by the notion of being a restaurateur and completely oblivious to the reality.
Even her ex-husband hadn’t been immune to the fantasy. When his first series blew up, the first thing he wanted to do—after buying the Ferrari—was put some of his money into a French bistro in a strip mall in Eagle Rock. She’d told him he’d be better off buying a couple of Subway franchises in Hollywood but back then, she was just his cute little wife who was good with numbers.
“If you cook it they will come,” he’d said, a riff on the famous Field of Dreams line. He’d been an extra in the film, playing one of the ghostly ball-players, and Burt Lancaster had encouraged him to follow his dream to Hollywood.
Her ex had lost a fortune on the restaurant. He’d consoled himself by having an affair with the restaurant’s pastry chef, a sloe-eyed beauty named Laure.

You can read the rest of the story here.

When characters surprise you

The first time a character did something I wasn't suspecting, it kind of scared me. It wasn't quite on a par with a divine message to put on a suit of armor and go save France but it was freaky nonetheless. It's happened enough now that it's not quite a complete surprise but it can still be unnerving.

Take this week's episode of NoHo Noir. In this episode, homophobic cop Ethan's girlfriend gives birth to his baby after she takes a bad fall. I had a story all worked out where Ethan, who is contemptuous of a particular neighbor, finds out that he's gay after he saves the baby and the mother's life. And he may still find that out about the character, who is currently named "Guy from 108." As I was typing, though, Ethan decided to do something different and the story has a very different outcome.

So for the record, if you read the story and HATE what happens, blame Ethan. I was just the one at the keyboard. Read the story here. The illustration is by Mark Satchwill.

New NoHo Noir: The Inheritance

It's Sunday and this episode of NoHo Noir showcases Anna Lee, whose mother died in a car crash in the second episode of the series. For those following the story, Anna and her mother did not get along and now that her mother is dead, she misses her terribly. In this episode, Anna gets news that could change her life.

The story introduces a new character, attorney Ryland Bailey, who will be pivotal in the conclusion of the story introduced last week, "The Good Samaritan."

The illustration is by Mark Satchwill and used actor Scott Wilson as a reference. As always, Mark's illustration provide inspiration for me. In this case, he'd finished the illo before I'd actually finished the story (which happens most weeks) and seeing his interpretation of my vague notions really helps me put the story together.

The theme of this story is, "Money Talks, Bullshit Walks" but I couldn't use that title because my column is PG-rated. (And while the title is "The Inheritance," I keep calling it "The Legacy."

Check out the story here.

Two New Stories for Sunday

Yes, I've been busy. (Love the long weekends.) Over at Dark Valentine Magazine, I've posted my story, "The Smallest of the Summoner's Bells." It's a story set in the urban fantasy world of my novel, Misbegotten.
The story takes place in Los Angeles, city of the angels and the occasioal demon, vampire and fairy. You can read it here.

Also, there's a new entry in the NoHo Noir series, featuring new character Helen Parrish. This story is a short, transitional one that will take us into some new twists and turns. As always, my partner in crime Mark Satchwill provided the illustration. Read the story here.

NoHo Noir--And it's really Noir this week

This week's adventures of the residents of North Hollywood and Toluca Lake, California continue with "Lucky Lady." Here our luckless wannabe screenwriter Christo and his roommate Ash stumble into the path of a crazy homeless woman and veer into disaster.

The illustration is by Mark Satchwill, who as always, manages to capture the characters and the heart of the story. Here's the beginning of the story:

Vardan hated the homeless people who used his gas station as a rest stop. If they bought something, he couldn’t refuse them the right to use the bathroom, but if he saw one coming, he could usually head them off by hanging an “out of order” sign he kept under the counter just for that purpose.

The old lady, though, she was sly. She’d approach from his blind side, slipping through the entrance behind someone coming in to pay for gas. She always seemed to have enough pennies to buy a pack of gum or a roll of mints, and then she would ask for the bathroom key. She’d usually ask in front of someone, as if daring him to deny her permission in front of witnesses.

She’d snatch the key with her filthy hands and then disappear for a long time. When she emerged, the whole interior of the station smelled like a stable for hours, no matter how much Lysol he sprayed.

Vardan’s Unocal

10xxx Magnolia Blvd.

North Hollywood, CA 91601

4:53 p.m.

Today the old lady had been in the crapper so long Vardan thought she might have died in there. He was thinking about banging on the door to roust her when the two boys came in.

They weren’t really boys he saw as the shorter one started foraging for junk food. They just had that formless look that so many Americans had. What was the expression? Half-cooked? Half-baked. They looked half-baked, doughy and soft.

The nerd headed for the lottery ticket machine in the back of the store. He took a long time deciding which game to choose. Vardan didn’t understand gambling. He worked too hard for his money to throw any of it away. But that was Americans for you, he thought. Always looking for the easy way.

Vardan had come to California with a stolen Visa card, the address of his cousin in Glendale and ten words of English, all but one of them profane. He was big and strong and mean and his cousin always needed guys like him. Vardan had done okay for himself but nothing had been handed to him.

The guy with the junk food piled it all on the counter and then did a last recon of the candy display to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. Over by the lotto machine, the nerd was staring at the ticket it had just spit out.

“Oh my God, Christo,” he said. “I won …”

He held out the ticket for his friend to see and that’s when the old lady finally came out of the bathroom, trailed by a stench so potent Vardan could taste it. She took one look at the nerd with the lottery ticket in his hand and went off.

“Give me that,” she yelled, grabbing for it. The nerd recoiled and put up his arms to defend himself. “I put money in the machine and that’s my ticket,” the old lady screeched. She flailed at the nerd with her small, bony fists.

The guy at the counter looked at Vardan. “Aren’t you going to do anything?”

Read the rest of it here.

Shameless Self-Promotion with a recipe

The holidays are over. If you're thinking of something a little healthier than your recent dietof eggnog and cookies, start with this soup. It's easy to make and extremely healthy. Substitute vegetable broth if you want.

JADE SOUP

4 cans low sodium chicken broth
1 large carrot, peeled and cut into thin "coins"
3 green onions, diced
2 Tbsp. reduced sodium soy sauce
2 tsp ginger (or 1-inch piece of ginger root, peeled and grated)
20 smallish spinach leaves
Small square firm tofu
1 Tbsp. dark sesame oil
Dash crushed red pepper flakes

Optional:

1 small leek, white part only
enoki mushrooms
shiitake mushrooms
snow pea pods

Open cans of broth and put in soup pot. If you can’t find low-sodium broth, just use two cans of broth and dilute with two soup cans of water. Add ginger and soy sauce.

Add carrot coins and green onions.

When soup is boiling, add spinach leaves, which will wilt.

Cut up tofu into little chunks and add.

Stir in sesame oil and red pepper flakes at this point.

Enjoy. This is a richly perfumed soup that keeps well (it can even be frozen)


Now, on to the self promotion.

Here it is Sunday and that means another NoHo Noir episode. My editor, Craig Clough, did a nice update article on the series featuring quotes from me and also from Mark Satchwill, the artist. Check it out.

Check out "The Hook-Up."



In this episode you'll meet two people who will be pivotal in the stories to come...Lyla is an accountant who does pretty much everyone in the series' taxes and turns out to have connections to everyone. (And as we all know, when you want to know what's going on, you follow the money.) Keep reading!

And while you're at it, admire the fabulous detail in the illustration. Fingerless lace gloves? Check. Billy Idol photo on the wall? Check. Wilting flower petals? You got it.

Let the Year of the Rabbit Begin

1/1/11--2011 is here. An not a minute too soon, I might add. I can't really complain about the year just passed, it was great creatively: the launch of Dark Valentine Magazine with my friends and colleagues Joy Sillesen and Joanne Renaud; the launch of the NoHo Noir series with Mark Satchwill; the publication of my collection of fiction, Just Another Day in Paradise; a personal best in the number of short stories written and published. Still, like the mother in the Prince song, I'm never satisfied.

I don't make resolutions but I do set goals and this year is going to be my year of saying "no" to projects that don't advance those goals. I have been unfocused. Last year I was fortunate enough to sustain a full-time freelance career. As you know, freelancers can't always be choosy but I took on some projects I really shouldn't have. I'm not going to do that any more. And to solidify my commitment to that goal, I sent off an email to a potential client and turned a lucrative job down. The client was lovely, the money was great but I just wasn't seeing a good outcome. And I couldn't help but think that the hours I would spend trying to wrestle the project into shape could be better spent working on one of the two novels I nearly finished this year, or the two screenplays languishing in their neglected files on my computer.

I'm making lists. I'm getting motivated. And next year at this time...I'm going to have something to show for it.

Thanks for all your support throughout the year. Happy New Year and Happy Writing to you all.

New at NoHo Noir--After Party

Read the new story in my series NoHo Noir. This features a return of homophobic cop Ethan, who tries really hard to be a good guy here but learns that his efforts are wasted on "Christo," the self-involved wannabe screenwriter:

'Tis the Season: NoHo Noir, Chapter 8

In this week's episode a wannabe screenwriter whose former partner has been wildly successful attends a Christmas party at his old friend's house. He leaves feeling very unfestive.
As always, Mark Satchwill has contributed a terrific illustration.

Here's a short excerpt from the story:

Christopher "Christo" Garland had gotten lost on the way to Eric and Celia's house. He had Mapquested it but he'd ended up in the wrong lane at that crazy intersection near the Iliad Bookshop and somehow he'd ended up on Burbank Boulevard going east. When he passed Circus Liquor, it reminded him that he hadn't bought a gift, so he parked and ran in to see what was cheap.

Circus Liquor
5600 Vineland Avenue
North Hollywood, CA 91601
8:15 p.m.

He grabbed a black bottle of Freixinet and brought it to the counter. He swiped his credit card as casually as possible, mentally crossing his fingers the transaction would go through. It didn't.

He tried again as the clerk eyed him sympathetically. When the verification failed a second time, Christo made a show of examining the card. "Expired last month," he said. "I forgot to put the new one in my wallet."

The clerk, who knew all about expired credit cards, just nodded as Christo pulled the last bill from his wallet, a twenty.

And just to show the clerk he didn't need his pity; Christo stuffed the change into one of the charity jars set up by the cash register. He probably makes what? Minimum wage? And he feels sorry for me?

By the time Christo finally arrived at his destination, there didn't seem to be a vacant parking space left in all of Toluca Lake. In front of Eric and Celia's house, there were uniformed valets hiking cars back and forth.

Eric and Celia hired valets for their party? I wonder how much that cost?

Read the rest of the story here.

New NoHo Noir--Cosmos

The story continues over at NoHo Noir with this flash fiction about a father and a son contemplating the mysteries of life. You'll see these characters again when the father is accused of murdering his ex-wife's new boyfriend. (The title of the series is NoHo NOIR after all.) The illustration by Mark Satchwill features my favorite building in the world, L.A.'s Griffith Observatory.

Here's an excerpt: The L.A. Observatory was Ty Garrett’s favorite place in the world so when the boy asked him to take him there, James was happy to oblige. Ty had been moody and restless all weekend, unwilling to open up about what was bothering him. James hoped a little star-gazing would make Ty feel better.

James hated that he didn’t know what was going on with his son all the time. He was 11 now, more little man than little boy, and it seemed like every time he saw him, Ty had changed in some subtle way. At least Erika had been good about the custody thing. But still, he hated her for breaking up the family, hated her for leaving him for the whitest man in Encino, a dentist who had billboards in three languages polluting the landscape all over the Valley.

It wasn’t the money. James was a good provider. He had parlayed a stint working in an Army motor pool into a business servicing temperamental foreign cars and their equally temperamental owners, people who pronounced “Jaguar” as three syllables like they’d been born in London, England and not London, Kentucky. In a good year, James pulled down six figures. Erika had no cause to complain there.

“Tooth guy wants me to call him ‘Uncle Tim’,” Ty blurted out, as if in answer to his father’s thoughts. Erika didn’t like it when Ty called Tim that and asked James not to encourage the disrespect. Most of the time he respected her wishes but now didn’t seem to be the moment for a lecture.

James glanced at his son’s anxious face. “Must be getting serious with your mother,” he replied neutrally.

Ty nodded. “We’re going to move in with him at Christmas,” he said.

READ the rest of the story here.